Posh Girls~ Tying The Knot~
Posh Girls ~Pearls of Wisdom Blog
Who does what and when...
we have answers for the 15 questions we get asked most often
1. Who pays for the wedding?
Traditionally,the bride’s parents paid for most of the wedding, but many couples fundtheir big day themselves these days, or split the cost between bothfamilies. Though no one really likes to bring up the subject, it’simportant to speak to both sets of parents and find out what – ifanything – they’d like to contribute early on.
2. Where do I start with my guest list?
Drawup a list of everyone you’d like to invite in an ideal world and sor tthem into four categories.
a) People who must be invited at all costs – parents, siblings, best friends.
b) Friends that you still see or keep in contact with regularly – workcolleagues (if you’ve been there a while) and long-term freindships from uni,football etc.
c) People you recently met, who may be part of your life but haven’t been around long, such as new work colleagues.
d) Friends you haven’t seen in a long time and don’t keep in contact with,and family members that you don’t have a relationship with.
Nowyour priorities should be clear,“1s and 2s should get aninvitation to the whole event; 3s could come to the evening do; and 4sshouldn’t be invited at all – there are reasons you don’t keep intouch, so be true to yourself.”
3. Who do we invite if we're getting married abroad?
Most couples stick to close family and friends only and then hold apost-wedding party when they get back. If you are marrying in Europeand the costs involved aren't such an issue as for, say, a Caribbean orMauritius wedding, then give your friends the option of coming alongbut make it very clear that you won't be offended if they cannot join you.
4. Who sends the invitations and when?
Traditional invites come from the bride’s parents, though sometimes the groom’s name is followed by “son of (his parents’ names).” These days many couples send their own. “Order them four months before the wedding and mail them eight to 10 weeks before,” says Wedding Bible author Sarah Haywood. “Include a reply card and a pre-addressed envelope to speed things up.”
5. Should I set a dress code?
“Traditionally,a formal engraved invitation meant that guests were expected to wear morning dress – without it being stated on the invite,” says weddingplanner Sophie Lillingston. “Nowadays dress codes can be quite varied and it’s fine to specify what you want – just keep the wording simple and clear.”
6. What time should the bride and groom get to the ceremony?
Thegroom and best man should arrive at the venue at least 30 minutesbefore the bride. It’s the bride’s prerogative to be the last toarrive, but don’t overdo the lateness or your groom may be a bundle ofnerves by the time you make it up the aisle!
7. Do my bridesmaids enter before or after me?
Some brides like to have aflower girl enter first, but there’s no set rule.
8. What duties do the best man and ushers have?
Beforethe wedding, the best man is responsible for the stag do and gettingyour fiancé home safely afterwards! And on the day, he briefs theushers, oversee the buttonholes and make sure all the guests have gothome safely at the end of the evening. Not to mentione the speech,obviously. Ushers direct guests to their seats during the ceremony, andgather guests for photos afterwards.
9. Can my pet dog be part of my wedding?
“The presence of a dog at a wedding ceremony does not affect its legality, “You just need permission from the owner of the building where the wedding is taking place and you need to consult the registrarfor a civil ceremony or the relevant celebrant for a religiousceremony.” If you want your pooch to be present, bring it to rehearsals. “Let it sniff around the venue,” says Mark Johnston,veterinary surgeon . “If there’ll be loud organ music, get a tape recording to play at home, gradually increasing the volume so that your pet gets used to it.”
10. Do we have to have favours?
No,you don’t, especially if you’re on a tight budget. However, you may besurprised at some of the inexpensive favours out there – for instance,you can get a box of 100 ‘Just Married’ Love Hearts “Or have lots oflittle cupcakes instead of a wedding cake, and these could double up asfavours,” says Y&YW’s Receptions Style Editor Vanessa Gore.
11. Do we need a receiving line?
Inan ideal world you'd speak to all the guests individually, but this istime consuming and you won't be able to say much more than a hello toeach person. “A good compromise is to go round with your groom to everytable and chat to the table collectively,” says wedding planner Mark Niemierko.
12. Should we offer a choice of food, or stick with a set menu?
If you are having a sit-down meal, it is simpler (and usually cheaper) tostick to a set menu with provision for vegetarians. If you want tooffer more choices it is probably a better option to have a buffet where guests can choose from a selection of meat, fish and vegetarian options. Your guests know they are coming to a wedding and not arestaurant and as long as you choose a fairly simple menu they shouldbe happy.
13. When are the speeches and what order should they go?
Traditionally,the speeches are made as coffee is served and the bride’s father speaksfirst, followed by the groom and best man. However, you could have thespeeches before the meal so that the speakers can relax and enjoy theirfood, or hold them later on when your evening guests are also present.
Althoughit's not traditional, it's becoming more common for brides to say a fewwords. But don't launch into an over-emotional ramble. If in doubt,keep it simple, and go first if you're nervous, or last for maximumimpact!
14. When should we register our gift list?
Sooneris better than later, especially if you’re planning to use one of thepopular department stores. Some will let you register online early, butotherwise 12 weeks is about standard. If you’re sending your invitesout eight to 10 weeks before, you can include information about yourgift list with them.
15. Can we ask for money instead of presents?
Althoughit’s more acceptable now, some guests may still prefer to buy you apresent. A compromise could be to set up a small wedding list andsuggest that vouchers for a variety of retailers would be just asuseful.
Also, some travel companies offer honeymoon gift-listservices, so guests can contribute towards the tailor-made trip of your dreams. However if you make it known that cash would be welcome, most people are happy to oblige!
Posh Girls Tyng The Knot
Serving brides nationally through our local vendor programs
Office:919-816.2379
Email: poshgirlsweddings@gmail.com
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